Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Spanish’ Category

Not a fair fight

It just didn’t seem like a fair fight.

One baby bull, a cheering crowd, and 2000 drunk Australians taunting the poor thing as it frantically made its way around the arena searching in vain for a quick exit.  One morning at el encierro (literally “the lock-up”) and my perception of San Fermin is somewhat tainted.

But I digress.

You’ve probably heard of the Running of the Bulls, yet another world-famous Spanish fiesta whose origins remain unclear.  While the official name of the festival is San Fermin (in honour of the local Christian martyr… yawn), the thrust of the festival is a practice that involves running in front of approximately six bulls that have been let loose on a sectioned-off course of the town’s streets.

Sounds silly/dangerous, no?

Working for the man...

It is.  Many people have died running and frankly I would not have gone if it had not been for Busabout.  Once upon a time, many moons ago, I worked as a tour guide in Europe for this fine little company.  As it turns out, one of my closest guide friends who I trained with, is now the Operations Manager, which led to an invitation to come and help out at the festival in exchange for free transport and accommodation.  A nostalgic trip down memory lane with a free Spanish festival to boot…

Done.

Thus I learned that the original purpose of the Running of the Bulls was to transport the animals from the off-site corrals to the bullring, where they would be killed in the evening (lucky ducks!).  During the early 14th century men would attempt to speed up the process by hurrying their cattle by running alongside them and goading the (poor) bulls.  Over the years it slowly began to turn into a competition, as young men would attempt to race in front of the bulls and make it safely to their pens without being overtaken.

The most famous Running of the Bulls takes place in Pamplona, Spain, but these days the event is dominated by drunk Australians keen on proving their masculinity alongside the occasional female runner.  This was not my favourite part of the festival.

Little drummer boy

Rather, the spirit of the community thoroughly impressed me, perhaps best embodied in over 1,000,000 people dressed in matching white pants and shirts, with red sashes and red scarves, wandering around the city.  Really you look ridiculous if you don’t dress up.  Of course for those who choose to participate in the opening ceremony, the bright white soon transforms into a sticky, neon pink.

What’s that you say?

Well, the opening ceremony can best be described as a massive orgy of sangria and champagne located in a sticky, crowded mosh pit while the sun beats down on the participants and the requisite Spanish fireworks explode overhead.  You see, from early morning until dawn, revelers spray sangria on everyone within sight, creating a chaotic and messy experience.

All of which is a reminder that alcohol is insanely cheap in Spain – why else would someone be willing to dump a litre and a half of it down someone’s head?

Runners arrive in the ring...

Every morning at 8am the actual bull run takes place, on the same set route that has been used for centuries.  Runners and spectators arrive early and hungover to line the street barricades, and secure the premium spots for entering the encierro.  The run ends at the Plaza de Toros (bullring) where runners stream in, breathlessly checking over their shoulders for their four-legged accompaniments.

But it doesn’t end there.

Having opted for the bullring and their live televised screens, rather than fighting the crowds for a glimpse of the run, we had no idea that the arrival of the runners and the six large bulls was just the beginning.  As we quickly learned, the adrenaline-pumped runners stick around in the plaza as a total of six baby bulls are released, one at a time, to the mercy of the crowds.

That’s right, one poor bull has to go back out and ‘fight’ the (mostly) men who have made their way into the ring.

Hot and fresh churros!

While one might assume that the bull would have the upper hand, in fact I sympathized for the bull, whose horns are wrapped in fabric rendering him less dangerous than usual.  Bolstered by this detail, the ratio of humans to bull, and potentially alcohol (though officially it is disallowed to be drunk and run), the poor bull was essentially tortured by the ego-inflated masses.

It made me sad.

Thus eventually we left the bullring in pursuit of a popular local churreria whose fresh churros date back centuries and therefore inspires a line-up around the block.  They didn’t disappoint.

And like all Spanish festivals, the bulls are just one element, with food carts all over the city, musicians, wandering giants and more.  Plenty to keep you occupied if you’re not into animal cruelty.

The churros alone kept me happy.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Read Full Post »

El Haircut

A recent photo in Valencia pre-haircut. Hispter is really my lens - it hides the grey and the split ends.

Misadventures in a foreign country episode 327:  The Haircut.

This has nothing to do with urban sustainability, accessible urban spaces, or celebrating diversity.  It is a damning confession of an issue that (sadly) I take much more seriously.*

My hair.

For the last twelve years I have done what many women do, walked into the hair salon with heightened expectations that perhaps this time, I will emerge looking like Natalie Portman.  Typically it goes like this:

  1. Arrive slightly nervous but excited (see: Natalie Portman expectations)
  2. Talk nervously with hairstylist trying to express that I want to look like Natalie Portman without actually saying so (because that would obviously be unrealistic and lame).
  3. An agreement is reached and happiness ensues because I feel I was understood (despite sounding like an idiot).
  4. Colour is applied, sets for an hour, and is then washed out… and
  5. I start to panic.
  6. In front of the mirror I stare in quiet horror at my wet hair which appears to be glowing.
  7. I can’t breathe.
  8. I try to talk myself down, assuring myself that you can never really tell what the new colour is while it’s wet.
  9. I can’t breathe.
  10. I chastise myself for this ridiculous vanity, reminding myself that the worst that can happen is that I don’t like it.
  11. I can’t breathe.
  12. The hairstylist begins to cut the wet hair and my panic increases as a stream of consciousness worthy of Joyce races through my mind:  Did she just take off 2 inches?  Is that a right-angle?  What are those funny instruments that aren’t scissors?  Did I emphasize that wispy looks bad on me?  Should I say something?  Did I explain how it can’t be shorter in the front?  Does s/he understand?  What have I done??!!
  13. I feel sick.
  14. The hair starts to dry and the cut gets blown into smooth waves that I know I will never be able to replicate.  While it is usually less neon than I anticipated, I am no Natalie Portman.
  15. I smile awkwardly at the mirror and think, “Well, maybe next time.”

Until I met Jacob, the love of my hairstyling life.  Like any good relationship, we took it slowly at the beginning, getting to know each other, having basic haircuts as we developed a mutual trust.  Than we took bolder steps, started ‘experimenting’.  And it felt good.  So I committed to him fully, and refuse to see anyone else.  While we don’t always agree, I know I can trust him, and I breathe throughout the entire haircut.

Jacob's first "bold" cut, many moons ago.

Then I moved to Spain.

Jacob and I devised a strategy to combat my FOOH (Fear Of Other Hairstylist), obviously exacerbated by a language barrier, leaving me with a cut where I could just “grow my hair out” for a year.  Except after seven months it became too limp, two-toned, and otherwise full of split ends to handle.  Something had to be done.

I delayed, and delayed, until finally I went to a local hairstylist recommended by a Valencian friend.  Sadly I now realize that I don’t know how to translate these key phrases into Spanish:

  • I have very fine hair and become a Farah Fawcett look-alike if you use too much feathering or texturing around my face.
  • Please don’t die my hair red.

Actually, I do know how to say the second phrase, however I unfortunately neglected to use it before she started.

While I can’t be confident of everything that transpired in Spanish during our conversation, I am positive that at least one of my instructions resulted in her saying: “Pero, será muy feo!”

Translation: That would be really ugly.

Sigh.

While I hate myself a little bit for caring so much about my appearance (I actually felt like vomiting after I left), I don’t know how to change it.  I try to rationalize it to myself as inconsequential in the big scheme of things (children living in slums are often used to detail this argument), but it’s hard when you have red, feathery hair.  Obviously I’m not including a photo.

On the bright side, my relationship with Jacob is stronger than ever.  I’m planning on renewing our vows when I get back.

* Not really MORE seriously… just a little bit seriously.  It’s embarrassing.

Read Full Post »

Spanish/Smanish

Learning Spanish is hard.

This Valencian tree knows more Spanish than I do.

I keep waiting for an “Aha!” moment when the words magically insert themselves in my brain, when I walk down the street and unintentionally understand casual conversations, and when silky syllables flow effortlessly from my mouth minus the stuttering and choking that typically accompanies them.

However this is but a dream.

In reality I feel more like I’m trudging through a dark Spanish jungle, finding what appears to be a clearing, only to be plunged straight back into more (unintelligible) jungle.   Two steps forward, three steps back.

Or at least that’s how it felt this week.

Despite the fact that I have no reprieve from the Spanish words that swim constantly through my head, I feel no closer to mastering said words.  While I’m on the metro, at the grocery store, or swimming laps, I am thinking about different conjugations of conocer, the difference between estar and ser, or how to casually ask someone if they’re pregnant.

Yet often it feels as though I’ll never improve.

Over the last six months I’ve been taking classes on and off, the breaks being a result of my travels and the exorbitant cost of private language schools.  When I return, I tend to be plopped in a class where people have

I am faking my enthusiasm.

been studying together for at least a month, progressing at a steady pace.  Thus I must play catch up and combine whatever I learned at my last school, with the current curriculum, and then sprinkle it with my day to day street learnings.

This method has taught me that I have no natural aptitude for languages.

No really.  Monday I started classes again after Las Fallas, and was thrilled (read: horrified) to learn that I would have to write my first Spanish exam on Thursday.  At first it didn’t faze me as I thought to myself, “The worst that can happen is that I fail.”

Turns out I loathe failure.

By Wednesday afternoon (after a spectacularly depressing class where I concluded I knew virtually nothing about this godforsaken language), I was in a total panic.  If that snot-nosed 18 year-old from The Netherlands (who incidentally doesn’t believe that men and women should earn the same salary) passed, and I didn’t, who was I??!!

So yes, language classes have spawned an identity crisis.

Thursday came, the exam was written/spoken/heard (5 parts: oral, listening, reading comprehension, grammar, written!), and I felt nauseated.  I knew I had made mistakes, I knew that I was the weakest in the class, and I heard the pity in my teacher’s voice as she over-enthusiastically pointed out the ONE TIME that I used the subjunctive tense correctly in my essay.

I wanted to cry.

So I did.  And then I went home, made a big jamón sandwich, ate some ice cream, and took a siesta.  If I can’t speak the Spanish language, then damn am I going to embrace Spanish customs.

And then get up and try again tomorrow.

Read Full Post »

Almond Trees Abound (not photoshopped).

First, we took, Barcelona… then I took, Montecorto?

This small town of 650 people is located in the picturesque Pueblos Blancos (white villages) of Andalusia.  Tiny white-washed villages dot the hilly landscape, the white walls providing the perfect antidote to sweltering summers, where temperatures often reach 40 degrees Celsius plus in the summer months.

Luckily we were cycling in the (so-called) winter.

“We” being my wonderful friends Marnie, Benji and baby Alice, who came to Spain to visit, and proposed we meet up in Montecorto to do a little cycling, eat a little jamón, drink a little tinto, and generally soak up the gorgeous landscapes.  Lovely.

Save for the major self-esteem hit I took on trying to communicate with the locals.

Baby Cycling

Day one we set out for la Via Verde, an old railway track built during the late 1920′s.  Interestingly the track was never used, as during the Spanish Civil War the tracks were ripped out to make weapons.  War over public transportation… typical.

Luckily sustainability got a second chance as said railway tracks have since been converted into 1,700 kilometers of public cycling and walking routes.

Sustainability win!

But back to my self-esteem.  As we were setting out we stopped for gas where a local man was selling wild asparagus on the roadside.  As the “Spanish-speaker” I was charged with inquiring as to how much it would cost, perhaps one of the first questions you learn when studying a new language.  Numbers would probably be next.  Sadly the conversation went something like this…

Dara – ¿Cuánto cuesta?

Señor Asparagus – Daaafffkkkkehhhealkdjkkka.  Qhhhkaaaagada.

Dara – ¿Perdón?

Señor Asparagus – Daaafffkkkkehhhealkdjkkka.  Qhhhkaaaagada.

Repeat for five minutes, during which I picked out the words “mountain”, “work” and “difficult”.  Hardly what would pass for fluency.

Which crushed me.

Long Road to Grazalema

Having spent 2 full months in Spanish school I was hoping I had the skills to maneuver through a simple asparagus transaction.  While the Andalusian accent is notoriously difficult (they seem to drop the end of every word), I figured I would understand simple things like numbers.

Right.

I returned to the van embarrassed sin asparagus, to share the results, where I was reassured by our guide that in fact we were stopped outside THE most difficult village, accent-wise, in the ‘hood.  Which made me feel moderately better.  Apparently even Spaniards don’t understand some of the locals.  And then you have to add the cranky old-man factor.

Shaking off this less than successful interaction (no asparagus), and resigning myself to yet more classes upon my return to Valencia, we set off to cycle the beautiful hills of the surrounding area.  Luckily my cycle legs have not completely deserted me in Spain and we found great success (insert Borat voice) on our trip.

Photographic proof ensues.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Read Full Post »

Cross-Cultural Rainbows

In an effort to improve our Spanish, JFL and I sometimes head to Portland (the bar, not the city), to participate in the weekly “intercambio” – i.e. language exchange.  The night is organized by an American ESL teacher and typically hosts far more Spanish speakers than native English speakers, thus the gringos drink for free.

El Portland

Que bueno!

Plus they brew an IPA that tastes like home.

Plus sometimes you can meet some really nice folks, who later end up being your good buddies in Valencia (see: Victor and the gang in a future post).

BUT, sometimes you get sat at a table that has… less, interesting people.  Cue two weeks ago:

JFL and I are enjoying our delicious local brews when I encounter my old friend Emanuel.  Emanuel and I met at a previous intercambio where perhaps he demonstrated a tad more than friendly interest, though nothing inappropriate.  Emanuel is a Romanian who has been living in Spain for five years, but would “very much like speak English, so go to America”  – which for the record, may sound far better than anything I can say in Spanish.  Sigh.

After some not-so-riveting conversation, I say something to the effect of “My girlfriend wouldn’t like that.”  While it is not uncommon for English speakers to mistakenly assume I mean a friend, who is a girl, in Spain I never have that problem.  In Spanish there are different words for girlfriend, 1) meaning “lover” (novia), and 2) meaning “grrrrlll-frieeeend, let’s go shopping!” (amiga).

I said it in Spanish, thus it was clear that I meant the former.  And here it begins.

Emanuel kindly corrects me, laughing with a hint of condescension in his voice, and explaining politely that I mean “amiga.”

I politely respond, affirming that in fact, I did mean, “novia.”

E: Amiga! (more condescension and laughing)

D: Novia.

E: Amiga! (starting to look confused, but still confident that he is correct)

D: No, novia.

El toro gay.

And so it goes for ten minutes, until I give up and turn to my Latvian friend Inga, who is more than clear on the concept in 5 different languages.  Unfortunately JFL is seated next to Emanuel and thus forced to carry on the conversation, until at last Emanuel accepts that yes, JFL and I are more than “amigas.”

 

And then it gets really awkward.

E: (in total astonishment) I have no meet a gay lady before.  In Romania, there are no gay lady!

J: (silence – doubting that he will accept otherwise)

E: Do you hate the manpeople?

J: (sigh)  No, no I do not hate the manpeople.

E: When do you and Dara do the love?

J: (uncomfortable silence during which JFL decides to clarify what he means (he is ESL), to be sure that in fact, she should be offended)  Uh, excuse me?

E: Do you do the love on the weekend?  Do you make the physical love or is it only the spiritual love?

J: (pausing) That, is an inappropriate question.

E:  Ahhh (nods wisely).  Also, do you share the money in the bank account?

At which point I catch JFL’s madly signaling eye, and suggest that perhaps indeed, it is time to go home.

WTW??!!

Pray tell, in which culture is it appropriate to ask a complete stranger how often they “do the love” with their partner??!!  Ummm, wait for it… NONE.  That’s right, this is a universal cultural no-no as far as I can tell.  Though please feel free to share otherwise.

Sigh.  Such is the life of a rainbow traveller, no?  Edumacating the world, one Romanian at a time…

Spain is a little bit gay.

Read Full Post »

Learning a new language is hard.

Really, really, hard.

Well, for me at least.  One of the primary reasons behind the ‘quit my job, sell my condo’ decision, was that for many moons I’ve wanted to become fluent in Spanish.  On the bucket list… if you can have a bucket list at 31.

Gratuitous beach photo - studying Spanish, of course.

In fact, I would like to be fluent in many languages, but after a miserable attempt at Mandarin eight years ago, I lowered my expectations (they have TONES in Chinese – tones!).  Here is my rationale for picking Spanish:

  • Given my relative fluency in French, Spanish seems much more obtainable than, anything else.
  • Spanish is spoken in many places that I would like to go and/or possibly live in the future (I heart Latinos).
  • As an official language of the UN, Spanish is easily justified as a professional investment.
  • Apparently almost 500 million people in the world speak Spanish as a first language (and 3% of Canadians).  Huh.
  • And lastly, it has nicer sounds than say, German.

I know, I said it.  Hopefully I’m still allowed to deliver cross-cultural sensitivity training.

Unfortunately I am not one of those language geniuses that has a whiff of Mexican air and is spouting Spanish poetry the next day.  Thus, 16 hours of classes through the Vancouver School Board three years ago didn’t quite cut it.  It’s also hard to be motivated in an English-speaking country, and for this reason I always told myself that some day I would take a year to go and live in a Spanish-speaking country and really learn the language.

Well, helllllloo year.

A regular potpourri at Nueva Lengua

I started with one month of classes in Bogotá at Nueva Lengua – overall a good introduction, though certainly not an inexpensive one (20 hours of classes a week costs $220 USD!).  But, I was keen on Colombia and told repeatedly that the Spanish accent in Bogotá is very neutral (none of that lisping the Spaniards are so keen on).  After a month of classes I could awkwardly stammer out a request for assistance in a store/restaurant/hotel.  Fantastico!

And then I travelled for a month, promising myself I would study daily… oops.

BUT, now I’m in Valencia and have re-committed myself to learning this glorious/occasionally frustrating language at Espanole.  Right.

It helps that there is relatively little English here.  In fact, I feel as though I’ve had a breakthrough this week!  I understood an entire excerpt from a Spanish novel that wasn’t dumbed down for novices!  After I read it twice.  Slowly.  Fantastico!

Some thoughts on learning a new language… especially if you’re over 22 years old.

Team Swenada outside school.

I recognize that my language skills are at a very basic level, but my thoughts are not.  It is incredibly frustrating to not be able to address the gross oversimplifications made in class on what is seemingly a daily basis.  While typically we discuss simple subjects  such as eating, sleeping, and family, inevitably somebody says something like:

“All plastic surgery is wrong.”

Which for some reason creates a burning desire to debate, and I point out that somebody in a serious car accident might require plastic surgery and ask if that’s wrong.  And then when everyone agrees that isn’t wrong, I forge ahead, trying to point out the slippery slope that is our ever-shifting moral code.  Of course I know none of these words in Spanish.  Instead I make a lot of guttural sounds and awkward hand gestures.

Sigh.

While many teachers are sensitive to the fact that not being able to speak a language fluently, does not translate to a lack of intelligence, this can’t be said for everyone.  “Carla-ita”, my teacher of 2 days last week (thank goodness), speaks to (adult) students as though they’ve just figured out how doors open, and she grates on my nerves like a mofo.

“Wow Carla, it really is AMAZING that people drink coke in The Netherlands AND Latvia!  What an incredible cultural insight!”

And so it goes.  Most of the time when I try to speak the language it just feels like someone stuffed my cheeks full of cotton and then dared me to run errands.  But I’m getting better, slowly but surely, and I am determined to be able to explain slippery slopes without hand gestures by the end of the year.

Read Full Post »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 64 other followers